Dedication to your self-growth journey is the make or break of its success. You have to be willing to put in the work, to push yourself every day to be better than you were the day before. Growth only happens when you’re challenged, so taking the easy path is not going to yield the results you’re looking for.

Finding ways to hold yourself to your goals can be difficult, especially when it’s so easy to take a day off under the guise of “self care”. Don’t get me wrong – self care is important. But when it becomes an excuse rather than a motivation, then it’s no longer something positive. But that’s a topic for a different post.

In this post we’re exploring accountability. You and you alone are accountable for your growth journey, and for doing the things you promised yourself you would do to improve your life.

If exercise is important to you, set yourself a schedule or regular cadence for working out. For example, I go to the gym four days a week, take walks two days a week, and take one day to rest. I try to do these things in the same order every week, but if something comes up I shuffle them around to accommodate the change in my routine. Today just happens to be one of those days as my car is in the shop so I can’t get to the gym, so instead I’m going to go for a walk in my neighborhood. It would be easier to take the day off, but that would not be holding myself accountable for my goals.

This doesn’t just apply to exercise. Making a healthy dinner, practicing meditation, reading an inspiring book, journaling – whatever you are doing to better yourself will only help you reach your goals if you hold yourself accountable to doing them consistently.

But what happens when you slip up?

No one is perfect, and so you are bound to have days where you don’t have the time to go to the gym, or are just too tired at the end of the day to journal or meditate. Maybe you skip reading that book you’ve been trying to finish, or opt for fast food instead of a well balanced meal.

I had one of those days last week. I was in meetings and appointments all day, and by the time I had a moment to myself I was tired, hungry, and didn’t have the energy to do the workout I had promised myself I’d do that day. Instead of making something healthy for dinner as I’d been doing for weeks, I had something quick and not exactly nutritious. I had to drop my son off with his father and when I got home I went straight to bed. No journal. No meditation. Just hopelessly scrolling through my phone until my eyes closed.

I slept for a long time that night, and when I woke up my body was certainly feeling better, but my mind was not. I was mad that I had allowed myself to skip a day of the habits I’ve been working so hard at building. I preach accountability, but where had mine been the day before?

What I needed to realize was that one off day, or even a whole week, doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Failure is such an ugly word with so much permanence to it. So let’s not call it that – let’s call it incompletion.

Your goals are only incomplete when you never return to them. After my off day, it would have been so easy to take another day to sulk, maybe eat another unhealthy meal because I had already ruined my clean eating for the week so what’s another non-nutritious quick fix? Meditation was the last thing I wanted to do because I was in an unpleasant mood and knew I wouldn’t be able to focus. It was my scheduled day off from the gym so why not keep it as such even though I’d taken the day before off?

I will admit, it took me well into the day to shake these thoughts. I let my sour mood control me, and spent the first half of the day doing nothing and taking no action to make things better. And to be honest, if I had let the day pass me by because I was in no mood to motivate myself into action then it probably would have been okay. It would have been a waste of a beautiful day in a bad mood, but if I needed some down time then it would have been okay to take it.

The problem would have been if this became a habit. If the last two days had been a wash, why not one more? Why not give myself a week long break? Why not just give up completely? Clearly I can’t do it… or at least that’s what I kept telling myself.

When you become aware of thoughts like those, take a moment to remember your motivation for wanting to better yourself. You started your self-growth journey for a reason, and I’m going to bet that underlying motivation is still there.

But how do you shake the guilt of a day like the one I had? The off day that almost turned into two, then a weekend, then a week, then who knows how long it might have turned into?

It’s all about forgiveness. Give yourself a little grace to know that not every day, week, month is going to be perfect. It’s okay if you slip up. You are not a failure.

Let me say that again: you are not a failure.

No matter how long the break you take your journey isn’t over, it’s just incomplete. All that matters is you pick up where you left off and keep going.

Accountability and forgiveness are topics that seem like they should be covered separately, but truthfully they go hand in hand. You have to hold yourself to taking the steps you’ve laid out for your self-growth journey, and be the best version of yourself every day to help you reach your goals. But if you slip up, or if you need a break, remember that you only fail if you never return to your journey. So instead, forgive yourself and move forward by finding your accountability once more.